Take the Turn!

On my way home today, the cab driver missed a turn because he assumed we were headed a different direction.
When we realised our mistake, we had two options, 1. To continue on the wrong path, 2. To take a turn back to the right path.
The driver was hesitant as first, but I encouraged him to take the turn, because I thought it would be a better option. Upon seeing the traffic that lay ahead of us if we continued, he decided to take the turn. It turned out that we took the best decision, we got to our destination in record time.
My Life Drive's mindset took over as I pondered on the drive home. Here are the lessons learnt:
When there is a situation don't loose your cool, even though you are right, think of a solution first.
It doesn't matter who's right or wrong, solve the problem
Don't travel based on a thought, rather travel based on facts
You are never too far gone on a wrong track, take the next turn to the right track
Let's bring it back home, no matter how far gone you are, God wants you back on the right way. Jesus is the way, the Truth and The Life John14:6

Shalom

Once a Learner

Driving to work today, I saw a learner driving on the major bridge in Lagos, the Third Mainland Bridge, it was an interesting sight as it brought back all the emotions of my days as a learner. If you have ever been to Lagos and especially learnt to drive in Lagos, you will know that driving on third mainland bridge is a rite of passage of some sort.
As I watched her, sit back straight , two hands straight on the steering, no looking to the left or right just straight on, I remembered my first time driving on the same bridge, scared I would scratch or be scratched because of the nature of traffic on the bridge, especially at rush hour.

Just as I thinking about this, I felt a rush of empathy. She took me back to where I used to be and I felt like telling her not to worry, soon you will become a lion of this jungle.
As this thought crossed my mind, I wondered about our lives and how we treat those who come after us, passing through same emotions that once overwhelmed us.

A typical scenario that played out in my mind immediately is the daughter in-law, mother in-law relationship. It's interesting that mother in-law stood in same position daughter in-law stands today, decades back yet there is no enough empathy to create a relationship that will help daughter in-law do better than she did back then. Am I saying this happens to all, no but its prevalent, not just in daughter in-law, mother in-law relationship but in all relationships, Father-daughter/son, Mother-daughter/son, Teacher-student, Boss-surbordinate, new neighbor, etc

Can you and I just light up someone's world with the knowledge we gained while going through the wilderness they now face? Be someone's light! Remember you were once a Learner!

Shalom

Life Drive III

Life on the Road

While Driving home sometime ago after work I learnt some lessons, I thought was worthy of sharing.
So I chose a lane that happened to have a broken down vehicle. The implication, I was delayed for a few minutes, but even that saved me some pains I could have run into had I not been delayed.

Sometimes in life we make decisions that don't turn out so right. Yes we all find ourselves there at one time or the other. Yet while going through the road our decisions have taken us, we must stay positive. Nothing makes life positive more than positivity! Anger, leads to emotions that make you less than who you should be and in the process you hurt people around you, maybe that person you need to get out of your situation.

Remain positive no matter what road you find yourself. For I know all things work for good, especially when you love God and are called according to Purpose!

So what's you bad road, a bad marriage, failed relationship, failure at business or an exam, whatever it is, Stay POSITIVE!

Life Drive II

Driving through life at high speed gets you to the end fast! Yes Fast! But you miss out on the landscape you passed by to get there. You may never notice a sign that tells you about street you might or will need to come back to sometime later. You may never notice the cloud that so beautifully set above you. You may not see the woman who sleeps by the road with nowhere to go at night. You miss out on the opportunity to know how blessed you are for many lack what you have and are yet so thankful for what they have!

Life on the fast lane makes you miss out on so much!
Life is a drive that is not just about your destination but about the path you pass through and the people you meet on the way.

Sometimes you are stuck behind the learner, to remind you, you once know nothing!
Sometimes you are outsmarted by others to make you realize what it feels like to be outsmarted and also learn some people know more than you.
Sometime you get bashed, to let you know the drive does not also go as planned, there are others on the road you should be weary off.
Sometimes you see the drama of how people bash each others to help you learn how to act when its your turn for a battle for the road.
Sometimes you get caught by the law because you lost concentration for just a few seconds! Trust me I have been there! I felt like kicking myself!
Sometimes you meet an old school mate! Just that relationship you need for you next level!
The road is always full of much more than hardened bitumen and coal tar, and cars!

The Road is a place for learning Life's Lessons!
Next time you hit the road be sure to look out for the signs, the people, the cars, the lessons waiting to be learnt!


Peace!

Some of my Cakes!

 

Some years ago, I found that my love for baking is more than a hobby, it has become a passion, the more I go into it, the more artistic I want to be. Sharing a collections of cakes I did in the past.

Enjoy, Comment!

 

 

Life is a Drive I

Some years back it seemed like the only skill I needed to acquire to fix all of my life issues was driving. I just felt like if I could overcome my fear of driving, I would have every other thing figured out.
So I decided to enroll in a driving school, so my journey into the World on the road began.
Its been two years now and I must say driving really fixed a lot of issues and it also is exposing more issues.
Every time I am on the road, I learn new lessons. I have come to a conclusion that life is like a drive after all, you start when you are born and end it when you are dead, then you arrive at your final destination.
I have a good bad habit when driving, which is to always have a companion, my companion to an extent determines how I drive. Most times my companion is my Flash drive, it is filled with all kind of music and gospel talks (Called preaching). So when I am listening to the fast beat gospel jams, I drive faster than usual, I feel high and able! When I am listening to my slow beat jams, I am much more patient with other drivers. I also noticed that when I am listening to my talks my attitude gets better in the course of the day or week depending on what I get from the message.

Now when my companion is human, depending on who my companion is, sometimes I tend to chat all the way to my destination, or I drive to impress my companion, just to show how well I am now able to drive. Sometimes I am teaching or encouraging or learning from, my companion all the way.

I have found that your companion plays a great role that the quality your drive(journey) and who you are at the end of the journey. Your companion may differ at different points of your drive, at some point all you have are your parents and siblings, then you have friends, neighbours, then comes colleagues, people you share religious affiliations with, the person you choose marry, the God you choose to serve etc. Whom you choose to travel with determine a great deal how your fare.

I have found a Constant companion in the God I have chosen to serve. He stabilizes me through the journey and the perfect part is He is with me all through my journey even till the end.

For he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. Heb13:5b

Peace!
                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        

VOICES IN OUR HEAD II

 

I woke up in the early because the power company was benevolent enough to give us power, rushed to get clothes so I could iron and get ready for church, I spent an expensive 5 minutes deliberating on what to wear, before I knew it power was out again. Wow, then voices came rushing at me, my mum's words, 'you are wasting time picking clothes because you have options, if you had only one! You would have made your decision long before'. I laughed, voices! Then came my friend's words when he heard about L'wren Scott's suicide, this people should come to Nigeria and see people with so much and yet suffering but no one wants to die! I really cracked up when I he said that, we really live in one of the toughest conditions yet we move on every day with hope, holding on to just a thread and climbing the mountain, knowing one day we will get to the top. To our government of the day, if only we could just have constant, affordable power supply! To the so called Cabal, I am growing in my Prayer skills these days; you really don't want me on my knees for your sakes! Whew my mind, that’s why I had to start blogging! It’s always like a circus in here.
Forgive me where was I? Voices, voices in our head all the time.
 

Let's pause for a minute and ask ourselves some questions; how did this voices get into our minds or heads? How come we think the way we think? Why will anyone attempt suicide or think of inflicting harm on another person? Why will another person want to see everyone at peace?

We all are a product of the voices in our head.Like I asked earlier how did this voices make way into our head?

For me I have found that our eye gates and ear gates play a big role in what we hear in our head. We have to be deliberate about what read, watch and listen to. Do you have a challenge in an area of life? Fill your gates with positive information about that issue. Get books, videos, music, friends with positive information on the topic to help you.
I know you will get negative information you are not looking for and I know media is paid to project negative information somehow, directly or indirectly, yet you will have to take responsibility for the gates that lead to your life. Make sure you weed out any contrary information and stay positive!

Finally I leave you with Words from the Book of life (The Bible), I live by, “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life. Proverbs 4:23 ”

VOICES IN OUR HEAD

I hardly listen to news these days, I know it’s a bad habit but then there are too much bad news out there. But last night as I was wrapping up my day watching the news (because my husband was watching and I had no choice), the news about  Mick Jagger's girlfriend, L'Wren Scott, who committed suicide came up. A very sad way to wrap up the day but still it got me thinking, since I have always wondered what help can be offered to suicidal people?

In church on Sunday, there was a word for someone on the verge of committing suicide. Again, I remember reading about a University of Ife Student who committed suicide sometime last week. I was discussing the story with a colleague and he said “Oh no!, we don't commit suicide in this part of the world (Nigeria, Africa), then I reminded him of the University Student , then a very sad realization hit home, this has become a Global issue. Joining the points together I think it’s time to give ink to my thoughts about Suicide.

Reading from comments made online, I found many people condemning the act, some just sorry for the family, various feelings expressed by different people.

For me the questions are;

·         What can we do about this problem that seems to have become a global phenomenon?

·         What is it about this highest form of existence of the living (or humans) that the thought to end this glorious opportunity of dominion just gets over-powering and taking the final exit by one's self presents itself as the only and final option?

A commenter on the internet wrote "It's sad when people get to that point in depression and sorrow that they can't see a way out. Many of us have been so depressed as to feel so alone and lost. And probably many have even contemplated suicide or given it thought. Sorry for her and her friends and family that she lost her battle with the demons inside...... ".
Truly, there is a point in life (see post on life a series of points) where everywhere gets so dark and it really seems like the day will never break again. Unfortunately, the intensity of dark moments often times time is directly proportional to the level of success you have attained. Success brings too many fake company and friends, people there only to sing your praises and get a share of what you have. But just like any building, survival is always dependent on the quality of foundation. I can completely relate with anyone feeling suicidal because I have had my share of dark days too. I will be sharing in my next few posts tips on how I survived, may be someone out there will learn from my experience and survive too!

Every time we carry out an action, we are either obeying the voices in our head directly or we have analysed the voices then decide on how to act. We all hear voices in our head. Our environment, the information we consume, all contribute to how we eventually act. We can never take out completely our foundations (could be homes we grew in, our first jobs, school etc.), it contributes greatly to the voices that follow us as we mature.

I remember growing up with my mother always saying, “whatever is worth doing at all is worth doing well". I must confess that this voice stuck all the way, it created a consciousness to do well.

I am really fighting hard to keep this post short but the words keep rushing! There were also negative words too, they kind of stuck but I must confess, I am one of those privileged to have grown in a positive environment.

Now, try imagine (or think of) a child who grew up in an environment with a drunkard as a father, a frustrated mother, struggling to keep body and soul together. There is no guarantee of three square meals; he or she has to learn to work early in life, playground is the streets, filled with prostitutes, gangs, drugs etc.

What voices is this child hearing? I spoke to a typical child like this and I asked have you ever thought about committing suicide and he answered in the affirmative, “too many times”. Why? THE VOICES IN HIS HEAD! It's not just about this boy, he is a reflection of us, we all have VOICES IN OUR HEAD!

Check this out a TED Talk by Elizabeth Gilbert http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=86x-u-tz0MA&hl=en-GB&gl=NG

Following the little light!

Every Christmas, I ask God for a new lesson about the Christmas Story. I am sure this sharing is way behind time but like all of God’s Word the truth is eternal!

Last year I learnt from the story about the wise men and how they found Jesus; that following the star(the seeming lesser light) you will find the greater light. The wise men followed the star and they ended up finding Jesus, the Light of the World.

So yesterday I was reflecting again as I love to and it dawned on me again that this is not just a Spiritual concept but one that guides our physical life also.

Most times when we are asked about what we do, we just say lightly I am an operations staff, well I generate reports, or I sew clothes, bake cakes etc. Rarely do we see much to what we do other than the routine around them. This viewing of what we do has led to a lot of mediocrity, dissatisfied souls behind desk, very poor productivity, careless policies, suicide, drug abuse etc.

We often only see the little light and follow it like we never believe it can lead us anywhere, so we are carelessly following and missing all the significant life lessons on the way.
This concept also reminds of the seed, no seed looks like the plant it will become, sometimes they can be thrown into garbage without care, but that same seed in the garbage if properly sown and cared for, can become a source of food supply or cash!

We need a paradigm shift if any great thing is going to happen to us this year! We need to begin to see more to what we do than the routine! Begin to see how what you do affects the life of other people, this is the true value of what you do. It is not about what you are paid but about the lives you affect through what you do!

So you see, a doctor is not just seeing patients but easing the pain in the lives of sick people, the cleaner is making the environment healthy for others, the gateman is making entry and exit pleasant for the driver, the driver is taking away the stress of driving and ensuring safety, the caterer is meeting the feeding need of an event, the list goes on and on!

As we launch into the new year, I have a question for you, What do you do? What’s that you’ve got in your hands? God can use it! Take Him at His Words Whatever you hand finds to do, do with all your might! I have one little word to add, Make sure it’s Positive!

Climbing Up

My life has been a very eventful one. Somehow I usually don’t miss out on the events; they have a way of sticking with me. Sometimes I think it’s just my hyper-active analytical mind, always processing events. So today I was having a discussion with a senior friend and it made me go down memory lane to one of my many life changing and defining experiences.

It was sometime in the year 2003, we were on an endurance trek. I remember some of the instructions clearly; Take only what is necessary and make sure all you have are necessities like your water bottle, money if you need to buy anything on your way and a purse to keep things like money, camera, phones etc. that can fall off.

I did not realize the power of traveling light until after about thirty minutes of walking. In a matter of time, the water bottle seemed like lead on my shoulder because of the stress of the journey. I wonder now what others who ignored the instruction must have felt like.

As the walk progressed we took a path that kept going up and up, I really didn't realize what was going on, I observed so many crying, saying I am tired, I cannot go any further. Interestingly I never looked back nor understood what their complaint was about, I just kept going, and by the time I got to the end of the journey and looked back I realized we had just climbed up some land-form that seemed like a hill. When I looked back I was in awe of what I had just done. Something I could never have accomplished if I tried to figure out what the whole walk was about from the beginning.

Here are the Lessons in Bullets

·         Keep going on towards your destination or goal

·         Don’t try to figure everything out

·         Forget about the noise around

·         Travel light; un-forgiveness is a big burden in the journey of life. Forgive all and forget.

·         Listen to the voice of the one who knows more about the journey you are on.

Peace!

Contentment

Contentment, the destination very few ever arrive in a life time.

We all want more out of life!
I asked myself, would that mean we are not contented? Am I lacking in contentment because I want a bigger shop, house, better life style? Who exactly is contented?

AND I FOUND……….

Being contented is being happy with what you have. It is the feeling that what you have is what you need to get what you want out of life.
Sometimes it is when you have found your own course or race in life and you have settled into it. You are no longer distracted by what others have or are doing. You become comfortable in your own Skin.
Only then do you feel like a fish in the Sea!

Being Content is not being lazy and definitely does not mean you don’t want more out of life.

Contentment is being happy about what life has served you and working hard to use it to get what you want out of life.

A lot of people wish they ……

·         had better parents

·         came from richer homes

·         went to better schools

·         married someone better

·         worked in a better office

·         had slimmer waist lines (laugh)

And so much more.

And I say be HAPPY with who you are now and start making you better, remember a BETTER ME! Very soon you will realize in you is all you ever need to be and the CONTENTMENT sets in!

Finally Only Godliness with Contentment is GREAT GAIN!

Much LOVE!

Life a Series of Points!

I don’t know why I am wired the way I am but this is just me! Always evaluating, analyzing life. At some point in my life, I thought life was a journey, and then I thought life was a dream and now, at this point I think life is a series of points. Mathematically speaking, life is a series of points which equate to a line and when the line is formed, you get to the other end of eternity.

I have come to a conclusion that every point in life is just a point! Like my people would say "no condition is permanent"! Whatever point you find yourself today, it’s just a point. Be it a good or bad point, it's just a point!

So today if you are the Belle of the World, making great hits, getting the cheques signed, it’s just a point still! Be humble about it, celebrate it, you need this memory for the days ahead.

And if you are at the bad or not so good point right now and it seems like everything is taking their turn to crash like a pack of cards, yet rejoice! Learn the lessons! I heard a quote recently which I feel is most appropriate for you, Adversity is a great Teacher! Please learn the lessons of today! Never waste your pain! When life tries to crush you, make sure you release some juice!

Always remember, every point is just a point and very soon they will add up and things will get clearer!

Much love!

One Year After……

Yesterday in Nigeria we remembered the air crash that claimed the life of many Nigerians. It was not just loss of lives but for some hope. For Nigeria it was a great blow as too many young upward mobile intelligent people where in the crash. For me I was trying to get out of the shock when my Father Slumped and died about ten days later. It was a knock- out of a sort, just when I thought I understood what the Families were going through my own share of pain began.

This write up is not about me but about those left behind by the crash victims. They are the real victims of the crash.

The many times you called their cell phones to confirm it’s really true your loved one is no more.

The thought of your loved on in pain, fear, agonizing, screaming.

The last moment shared, Words not said and Words said. Some you wish you could take back, some you wished you had said.

Oh! The void, the financial stress, emotional support no longer there.

It’s a mix of sooooo much! The thought that you could not have made it through the weeks to come, but here you are today counting the first year. It’s amazing how much we really are able to bear.

It tells me no matter how dark the night may be, the morning must break. For some it might take another year or decade for the morning to break. Our healing is in our will not to move on. We definitely cannot to forget our beloved one! But we can remember them in a happy way. The beautiful moments shared, the person they were when they were around! This for us is our treasure. The scars will always be there but they will never hurt like that anymore.

It’s time for us  left behind to start building great memories, so that when we are gone, we are remembered in happy way only missed for the blessing we were in our lifetime.

To Nigeria which is everyone of us! Please do something positive in your little office! Life depends on it. May be someone could have stopped the flight but did not. May be someone should have maintained the planes better but was too disgruntled to have done so. It’s about time we realize our smallest office is our own seat of influence!

Corruption is literally eating us up! Please wake up! It’s time for leadership to arise too. You never know who will be the next victim. It does not necessarily have to be a plane crash, it could be a building collapse, a medical mishap, uneducated genius hawking the street, lack of water to put out a fire, no power to save a life and so much more.

Please think about these things and Share the message.

God Bless Nigeria!

A Better me!

Many times I have tried competing with people and failed.
Many years ago when I was a student in the University, I learnt I had only one person to beat and that person was the girl in the mirror whenever I looked into the mirror.

This knowledge transformed my life completely! It made me a friend to everyone, no bitterness, no foes! I sought each day to be better in everything I did. I shared willingly my discoveries in the library with friends and I was never afraid of anyone doing better than I did!

This attitude landed me on top of the mountain! It did not give me the best grades in all subjects, but it made me feel good with myself when I did well and also made me kick myself when I did not do so well. And I knew I got the best grade I worked for!

When I think about the fact that we are all unique and all can do things uniquely, I conclude that there is no competition! The only challenge is being the best person we can ever be!
Beat yourself to it, when you want to sleep a little longer than you know you should, because a little sleep, a little Slumber, a little folding of hands ...........
Resist the temptation to eat a little more than necessary! Take only what is required. (This is my battle believe me)
Take the hard road of self discipline! Every successful person has done this. Whoever will master anything must master himself first!

Learn you weaknesses and conquer them! Identify your strengths and build on them!

There can always be a better you and ME!

Much love!

Beauty of Small Things!

How I love small things! Most people often hunger for the big things in life and they make people like me feel small and unambitious, but I have learnt better. In the search for the big things of life we ignore the small things that hold the key to big things.

We are so into getting the next big job and fail to appreciate our current job which is the key to the next big one.

We are so eager to get into a relationship and get married! We miss out on being ourselves and enjoying the power of being in control and figuring ourselves out!

And when we get married! We miss out on our marriages because we want to make more money to make the home comfortable.

We miss out on our children’s childhood because we want them to have a great adult life. Meanwhile their great adult life is locked in the quality of childhood we give them. I must mention that a great childhood has nothing to do with void luxurious lifestyles but quality time and teaching right values.

People want to have big faith without small faith, yet Jesus said, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed you will say to the mountain move can be ye cast into the sea and so it shall be!

We live in a world that has lost the value of taking comfort in the small things money cannot buy. So we are constantly living under the pressure to make it BIG!

In all of these things I have taken a back seat to re-evaluate things and my conclusion is that I love small things!

I love Small Things because;

·         Small reminds me of beginnings; and though my beginnings may be small surely my latter end shall be great!

·         Small reminds me of Seeds, no seed is as big as the tree it carries inside. The Mustard seed is a proof! And you know what, Seed time and Harvest time never ceases!

·         Small speaks to me about potentials, potential to grow.

·         Small gives room for mistakes that are manageable.

·         Small is the time to mature into managing BIG when it finally comes.

·         Small gives memories that make you stable when you get big.

I just love Small Things!

Peace!

Start Anyway!

Now, for a longtime I have been toying with the idea of blogging about life lessons I have learnt along the way, hoping that one day someone will stumble on my thoughts and find some light.

So today at one of my lowest point in life, I decided to start! Start anyway!
Do you have a small idea you have been toying with and waiting for the best opportunity? The time is now. Start anyway, get at it, don't wait for the perfect moment it may never come.

Start small, its easier to make your mistakes when you are small than when you have invested all into it and it flops. Build from the scratch, there are so many lessons to be learnt on the way to getting the big idea done! Make your mistakes and learn from them.

Practise is done behind the curtain, the stage is owned only by those who have done rehearsals behind the curtain.

So just like me start anyway!

Peace!

God Bless!